It seems like it’s been a minute since I last did this, in fact it’s been about 2.5 months. Maybe we do this in 2 parts; today I can catch all of you up on the last few months and tomorrow I can get to some goals/resolutions for 2012 and beyond.
The biggest change? That girl that Ghandi’d me back in June. The one that was so obviously digging on me, but wouldn’t give in, the one that I all but told to go to New York to figure out what was what in her dating life, the one that I didn’t know if I liked at all? It turns out that I loved her and just didn’t know it.
The last few months have brought us together in a way that I didn’t think was possible, but it turns out it was not only possible, it was and this isn’t a word that I use lightly, fated. As I lay down on the couch in her studio apartment and she sleeps on her bed about 5 feet away from me, I realize that this woman is the woman that I have been waiting for. (This is clunky, this is junky, I can’t piece my thoughts together…3,2,1 U_G_H). Okay back to it.
I’m in love with a woman that I never thought I’d be in love with. A woman that I was certain I horrified by telling her about my past. Telling her about the dissolution of my marriage, about the complicated relationship I have with my ex-wife’s children, about the times I was arrested, about the job that I am leaving during this calendar year for a chance to make my own fortune, when others have tried and failed at it. That’s not to say that I didn’t scare her away, ask her (theLoLife), she was completely horrified about where I was coming from. She was so terrified that she refused to date me for months and months. Sure she saved every voicemail that I ever left her during our getting to know you phase, and she would meet me for coffee on an about weekly basis and we would stare at each other with eyes that said anything but “you’re in the friend zone”, but she was every bit as dumbfounded by her feelings as I was by my intense desire to keep this one around. So, I lobbied her for the opportunity just to start dating, the opportunity for an opportunity is how I phrased it. I’m pretty sure she thought I just wanted to get in her pants, I did, but that wasn’t the point.
Sometime around the construction of the makeshift pumpkin patch on 5th avenue, we started to let our natural chemistry take over and that opportunity that I was seeking I was given. That’s when I figured out that I deserved to have a relationship that was healthy, supportive, loving and kind, that I didn’t have to fix a person to have a sense of worth in my relationship. So the last 3 months have been among the most fulfilling in my life. Trips to Idyllwild where we warm ourselves by the fire, play Monopoly, watch bad movies and enjoy each other. Falling asleep next to her and waking up with smile on my face because she is there, cracking each other up with little inside jokes, freaking each other out with how eerily similar we are. Introducing her to friends and family and seeing their happiness for me, being completely and utterly obnoxious without a care in the world on Facebook, Twitter and now Tumblr.
So that’s where I’ve been the last few months. Editorial note, this is the new blog and all old blogs will be retired. This blog will not only be for my personal journaling/blogging, it will also be home to any creative blogging I do (God help me, God help us all). Stay tuned, I think 2012 is going to be a great year for me. I’m going to take the biggest leap of my life and go on a vacation to my mother’s homeland of Indonesia.
Tomorrow I’m going to make a list of resolutions, or as Laura would call them, goals. So I’ll see you all then. I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you enjoy these pictures. I’m truly at a good place, my ducks are once again in a row and now all that I have to do is knock them down.
Happy New Year,